


home is where you are

by tamamushigami



Series: FumaKen Week 2018 [1]
Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Sexy Zone
Genre: Angst, FumaKen Week 2018, M/M, Make sure you pick a normal taxi next time, but they happy ok, happy birthday Fuma, or maybe not, rhea chill on the angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 01:16:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13893165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamamushigami/pseuds/tamamushigami
Summary: "Where to?" A calm, deep voice asked, almost lulling him to sleep."Home," He replied and told the driver a street address one block away from his apartment, taking no risks.





	home is where you are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [h_itoshi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/h_itoshi/gifts).



> Okay but so.. we needed more fics to read and write, so why not challenge ourselves with FumaKen Week 2018 because OTP feels?  
> 7 days, 7 different prompts. and this will be a good week~ 
> 
> First out is:  
> "There's an urban legend that's been circulating for years about a taxi cab that doesn't take you where you want to go, but where you need to go. One night you step into this cab."
> 
> and ...word vomiting at its best :v (I've asked myself about 1000 times "where am I going with this fic?")

Work had been exhausting, like never before. There were promotions for their album, promotions for their 24-hour television segment, location shoots for each and every damn variety show he was in and on top of that the neverending magazine interviews were there as well. Nakajima Kento didn't want to be Nakajima Kento at the moment. He sighed as he shredded his work clothes off in their dressing room - depressingly empty as the others went home way earlier than him. All he wanted was a shower, clean clothes, and his bed. His neck cracked as he pulled his jumper over his head, hair messy but he didn't care. He was just heading home. Rugged and heavy, he made his way out of the agency, calling down the nearest taxi to drive him home. Trains took way too long these hours and he was way too tired to even care if he got mauled by fans. A taxi slowed down, the door opened, inviting him to the warmth inside. He slipped in, shrugging off his bag on the seat beside him.

"Where to?" A calm, deep voice asked, almost lulling him to sleep.

"Home," He replied and told the driver a street address one block away from his apartment, taking no risks.

The low buzz from the car moving and the radio playing old hits on low volume made him relax slightly. The stress from earlier subsided from his shoulders and he heard his phone vibrate in his bag. He rummaged through his bag as the passing streetlights provided him with momentary light. Glancing out the car window quickly, he was in awe how different everything looked at night. Another message on his phone made him turn his attention back to it. The screen lit up and Fuma's name flashed.

_Eating the whole cake all by myself was a bad idea >:(  
_ _I should have saved some for you._

Kento smiled to himself as he read the message. Typical Fuma. He didn't doubt the younger would eat the whole cake by himself, but Kento understood the underlying message.

_I missed you.  
There's still some cake left for you._

The car swayed as it went off the main street and into the more closed off urban areas. The motion made Kento's bag spill some of its content on the seat. He hastily collected his things, making sure nothing got lost and as he put the stray items back, he brushed against a small wrapped box. Gently, he brought out the box, bringing it up to face level to inspect it in the iridescent night light. Fuma's birthday gift. He hadn't been able to give it to said birthday boy earlier. The wrapping paper rustled beneath his fingers. They usually didn't exchange gifts, but this gift was long overdue. Each year, he put the box in his bag. Each year, he prepared himself to give it to Fuma. Each year, he failed.

"Is it for someone important?"

The taxi driver's voice broke him out from his thoughts and he nodded before he realized he should probably answer the driver out loud.

"Yeah," Kento smiled. "Yeah, it is."

"I hope it'll be well received then,"

He hummed in response as he carefully put the box back. He let his hand rest on the bag, feeling the imaginary heat from the box. Each year he let his fear rule over him. It wouldn't take much (everything) to just hand it over. Nobody would bat an eye. Yet, Kento couldn't bring himself to hand over the gift. Closing his eyes, he remembered when he first got the box.

It had been for Fuma's 20th birthday. Four years ago. A special day for him and everyone around him. Fuma had been overjoyed - he was finally entering the adult world (even if Kento had told him all the downsides already). They were barely a year apart and Kento felt they could very well have been born in the same year. The difference didn't matter. Like always, they all had celebrated Fuma quickly before work started. Back then, Kento had not thought twice when he had bought the box. It had been a simple silver moon necklace, something Kento knew Fuma liked to wear. He had wanted to give it to him before they started their busy day, but he had decided to wait. Maybe catch him alone for a short minute. That minute never came. Not before work.

 

* * *

 

 Work kept them all busy until Marius had to get sent home. The youngest had given Fuma a huge bear hug along with another set of birthday greetings in all languages he possessed before running off with their manager. Not a second later, Sou was onto him as well, giggling as Fuma tried to swipe at him, but avoided it (for once) as he made his way to the lockers. Shori approached him as usual and smiled at him before patting his shoulder. After a short greeting, Shori joined Sou in the hunt for normal clothes, leaving the oldest members alone in the dressing room. The soft smile that painted Fuma's face as he watched the younger ones run off tugged at Kento's heart. He stopped in his tracks to get Fuma's attention, hand outstretched. It wasn't the fact Fuma smiled. It wasn't the fact Fuma showed obvious affection for their younger members. He just―

Fuma turned around as if he had felt Kento reaching out to him, smile still plastered all over his face. Their eyes locked and Fuma's smile only widened and Kento felt his own eyes widen as well. A wave of warmth washed over him as Fuma's smile imprinted itself into Kento's memory. He was unable to register what the birthday boy was saying, as Kento just stared (and probably looked like a fool) at Fuma. As he stepped closer, Fuma snapped his fingers at Kento, bringing him out of his trance.

"Earth to Nakajima," Kento blinked as Fuma spoke. So close. "What got your head stuck up there?"

_You. University. Essays. Lyrics. You. Choreography. You. Marius' forgotten bag of candies. You. Shori's stinking socks. Your smile. You. Sou's laughter. You. You. Just―_

"I love you,"

Never had Kento confessed by mistake. Never had Kento realized he was in love as he confessed. There's a first time for everything.

His outstretched hand retreated faster than lightning to cover his mouth - not believing himself what he just said. Kento could feel his face turn red, legs giving in and he held his breath. How was he supposed to explain―

"Took you long enough,"

Once again, Fuma's smile was entrancing, this time even wider than before and knowing Fuma, the younger was about to burst into laughter. Before Kento was able to reply, Fuma took a hold of his hands covering his mouth, gently bringing them down, only to intertwine their hands. The gesture filled Kento's whole being with butterflies and a warmth so intense he thought he'd combust. He felt how Fuma held him like he was afraid he'd break, but not loose enough to let him slip away. Thoughts raced inside Kento and he didn't have time to sort anything out before Fuma made his next move. Just like he had seen couples kiss in movies, how he himself had been instructed to do in dramas, Fuma leaned in, tilting his head slightly to press a soft kiss onto Kento's lips.

It was all over way faster than Kento wanted. Fuma drew back hesitantly but didn't get far as Kento squeezed their hands tighter - a silent request. They synced and leaned in together, sealing their lips into another kiss. Kento had no idea what to say in a situation like this, for once rendered speechless, but he knew what he wanted. Kikuchi Fuma.

 

The box laid forgotten in his bag until he found it days later. The gift was not important anymore. He had missed his chance. It didn't matter. His first failure didn't matter. (He gave Fuma the necklace as a Christmas gift the same year.)

Next year, he filled the box with another necklace. It never found its way around Fuma's neck. Instead, they vowed to stay together.

The year after that, on his 22nd birthday, Kento wrote him a song, everything neatly placed on a USB that Kento put in the box. Fuma never got to hear it. Kento scrapped it, thinking his words weren't enough. Instead, Fuma whispered loving words as they laid together until morning light caressed their naked skin with its burning colors.

On Fuma's 23rd birthday, Kento got him a ring, but he never got to wear it. Instead, Kento wore it, because it felt small compared to Fuma's heartfelt touches as they talked in hushed voices on the sidewalk, on their way back home from a trip to the closest convenience store.

Four years later, the box was still with Kento.

 

* * *

 

He sighed as the memories of his failed attempts to give Fuma the box flashed by. The car slowed down and the driver opened the door for him to step out.

"We're here,"

"Thank you," Kento smiled as he stepped outside, turning around as the door closed with a loud sound. "Wait, what about the fee?"

He reached for his wallet in his pocket but the taxi already started to drive away.

"Hey, wait," He started to jog after the car, slowly noticing how the surroundings were different from the ones around his apartment. The car slowed down as Kento stopped to take in the surroundings. He turned his back to the taxi as he spoke. "This isn't my area,"

"I drove you home,"

Kento turned around to look at the source of the voice but found none. The taxi was also gone. Without a sound or trace. He frowned at the situation but what could he do?

He heaved out a sigh, typing out a quick message to Fuma, saying he'll be at his door soon. His phone flashed with a message containing two thumbs up.

The box in his bag weighed heavy as he picked up the bag from the ground where he'd left it when he jogged after the taxi. He knew it was all in his head. He had no reason to feel nervous. Even if every year always turned out different than he expected, he didn't complain. His gift never really was good enough. Every year, Fuma had managed to make his own birthday the best day of the year for Kento. He didn't know how the younger one managed but he was just good like that. Kento didn't know what to do to make it up for him. Each and every little thing Fuma did for him meant so much and what could he even give back?

He made his way silently through the apartment complex until he reached his destination. Knocking lightly on the door,  it took five seconds until he heard the soft footsteps running towards the door. As it opened, Fuma held it open wide, allowing Kento to slip in. Welcoming the warmth of the apartment, he shrugged off his jacket and shoes, neatly placing them where they belonged. It didn't take long for Fuma to wrap him in a silent, gentle hug from behind, arms lazily wrapped around his waist and head resting on his shoulder. All tension left his body immediately. Except for the weight of the box. He reached up and covered Fuma's arms with his hands, smiling softly to himself as he felt Fuma's calming breathing. He soon fell into the same rhythm as Fuma and as soon as the younger felt him on the same wavelength, he brushed his nose against the side of Kento's neck, making him shy away from the tickling feeling. Fuma brought him closer as he pressed a kiss on Kento's cheek.

"Didn't expect you to come by,"

Kento shook his head as he leaned back and rested his whole weight against Fuma.

"The taxi drove me here, even if I told him to drive to mine," He sighed and played with the hem of Fuma's long sleeves. "I'm not complaining though, I needed this."

"Maybe it was a magic taxi taking you where needed to go," Fuma hummed in approval before kissing him on his temple.

He withdrew and nodded towards the kitchen. Kento followed after he picked up his bag, box still weighing heavy inside. Maybe this year would be different.

Fuma handed him a slice of his birthday cake - the exact size Kento liked. He had saved a slice for him.

"Did you know I'd come?" Kento said between the bites, munching slowly on the cake. One might think it was too late to eat cake, but no one really said no to cake. He deserved some cake after his work filled day after all.

"I wished," He shook his head in reply but smiled nonetheless as he leaned on the kitchen counter. "Didn't think it'd work. Maybe I should wish for it more often?"

"That's a very roundabout way to ask me to move in with you."

Fuma's laughter filled the apartment and it tugged on Kento's heart as he almost choked on the cake. Fuma's laughter had always been one weakness of his. Everything his low snorts to his ridiculous full-blown laughter attacks filled his heart with such intense love for the younger. His mind raced at the thought of living together with Fuma. To be able to wake up beside him every day. To hear his laughter every day up close. To come home to that smile every day. He wouldn't mind. He wouldn't mind waking Fuma up when he overslept or chasing him out from the bathroom when he took too long. He wouldn't mind picking up his accessories from various places, only to find them there again because Fuma deliberately put them back. To have Fuma nag on his sleeping habit would only be welcomed, maybe slightly annoying, but still welcomed. Pillow fights and blanket forts because they were still five years old at heart. Cooking dinner together whenever they had days off. Going to the convenience store together to shop groceries, only to run away together in laughter as fans discovered them. Most of all, he wouldn't mind falling asleep beside Fuma. He slept the best whenever he was beside the younger male. To know that he'd be able to reach out and touch Fuma if he wanted. That Fuma really was there beside him. His daydreams were interrupted as he felt a finger swipe over his lips. He blinked and saw Fuma leaning over and licked some whipped cream off his finger. (Apparently, he'd missed his mouth.)

"That's tempting actually," Fuma grinned and Kento's heart did a double take. Was his heart ever gonna stop doing weird things around Fuma? Never.

Suddenly, he felt tears well up in his eyes. He quickly wiped them away but not fast enough for Fuma to not notice. Fuma's worried expression only made the tears fall even more and Kento wasn't even sure why he was crying. No, he knew. Fuma was the best thing that had happened to him. No matter how famous he'd become, how much money he'd earn or how loved he'd be by everyone, Fuma would still be the most important and best thing ever. He knew that he wasn't at his best all the time. He knew Fuma also had his flaws and faults. He knew. Sometimes he wasn't sure how he managed to survive work, but Fuma had always been there to catch him - even before they got together. Kento felt incredibly indebted to Fuma, even if he knew that he was Fuma's anchor as well. Sometimes, when his mind wandered down the dark roads, he wondered how he deserved someone like Fuma. Each time, Fuma managed to bring him back. Much like how he did now. Kento could see the apparent exhaustion in Fuma's face, his day had not been as long as Kento's, but nonetheless as tiring. Right now, he just felt so overwhelmed at the fact he was here, with Fuma. Fuma was his.

"I'm okay," He managed to push out with a strained voice, breath shaky. "I'm okay."

"No, you're not," Fuma whispered, dragging him out of the chair as he embraced him. "Hey, talk to me."

The embrace did help. Body contact had always been calming to Kento and he clung to Fuma as he tried to calm his breathing. Fuma's scent enveloped him and his fingers ran up and down his back, soothing his raging nerves.

"Kento, talk to me."

The use of his given name made him stiffen. While they'd known each other for maybe more than a decade, been together for four years, the use of their given names was rare. They were so used to their last names that they didn't think much about switching. In his mind, Kento had always addressed Fuma as Fuma, but in public, he used Kikuchi out of habit. It didn't feel weird. It just surprised him.

"I don't know what to give you for your birthday," He choked out. Maybe it was insignificant in the bigger matter, but he had to get it out now. Everything felt like it was crashing down. "I haven't know the past four years and it tears me down."

Fuma kept quiet as Kento spilled his feelings.

"There's a box in my bag. It's been there every year. Every year I've prepared a gift but I've bailed out each and every time. Every year I've felt that my gift wasn't enough. Every year I felt like I can't find something worthy enough for you. You're amazing, you're the best thing that has happened to me. I can't even find words to tell you how much you mean to me. I'm probably sprouting nonsense and half of it is romantic bullshit but I can't even embrace my own feelings. I just don't know, no, I know. I know I love you so fucking much that I can't even think straight and that I don't know what I can do to give you something equal to the thing you've done for me." Kento drew back from Fuma's embrace to pick up the bag. He threw the bag on the table (minding the plate with the leftovers of the cake slice), letting its contents spill out, just like his feelings. He urged Fuma on to open the box, pushing it closer to the younger male. Fuma took it in his hands gently, removing the wrapping carefully, revealing a dark purple velvet box.

"Open it."

Kento could hear Fuma hold his breath as he opened the box. Only to find nothing inside. Fuma raised his eyebrows at the gift and looked at Kento in confusion.

"I couldn't come up with anything this year. Nothing at all. I could have bought you that expensive bracelet you looked at, or taken you to a fancy restaurant, but nothing felt alright. Every time I thought I'd come up with a gift, I felt empty. In the end, I just wrapped it up. I thought I'd end up with another year of not giving you a gift."

Fuma closed one hand around the box, closing it with a snap. His other hand found Kento's and laced their fingers together before bringing it towards his heart.

"I'm not as good as you with words, I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel like you're not worthy enough, I'm really sorry." He began with a trembling voice. "Truth is, I don't need any gifts. You're enough. The very fact you're here with me, despite everything we've gone through and faced, despite everything that is me. You say you can't express how much I mean to you, it's the same for me. Every action I take, every word I say, every step I make, I always wonder if it's enough for you. Kento, you're my world. What more can you give me? Nothing. It's enough. You're enough. I love you."

The weight of the box and gift ideas long forgotten as Kento held on tighter to Fuma's hand, feeling through Fuma's shirt how his heartbeat had sped up. It was enough. He was enough. He didn't doubt it, but hearing it was another matter. He trusted Fuma with his whole heart. Yet he let doubts scratch his back from time to time. He brought up his other hand to bring Fuma's face closer. He took a second to bask in Fuma's proximity before kissing him. It didn't take long for Fuma to catch on, letting Kento work his way around his mouth, tongues brushing and everything fell into place.

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

He chanted it over and over again in his head, or out loud (he didn't know), the same phrase echoing in Fuma's voice as well. Things were better. Thoughts were clearer. It would be alright. They had each other. It was enough. He believed in it now. The taxi was right. He drove Kento home. Fuma was home.

 

* * *

 

 

Kento groggily woke up hours later when his alarm rang. He tried to roll out of bed but an arm around his waist prevented him from moving. Not that he complained, Fuma's warmth and morning clinginess only made him stay in bed. Maybe a few minutes more.

"Why do you always have to get up so fricking early?" Fuma muttered into his pillow as he tried to drag Kento closer (success). "Get back under the covers, my ass is freezing."

"Habit I guess," Kento replied back with a shrug before snuggling closer to Fuma, allowing the latter to cover them with the covers again. "If you bothered to put on clothes last night before falling asleep your ass might be warmer, just saying. It's still a hot ass though."

Fuma snorted and nuzzled his face between Kento's shoulder blades in reply.

"Was too comfy then, and you fell asleep on me too. I didn't want to wake you up just to put on some butt warmers. Besides, as long as you stay close I won't freeze."

"Mhm, I'll stay close, don't worry," Kento turned around and pressed a soft kiss to Fuma's forehead, making Fuma whine slightly at the disappointment of not getting a morning kiss on the lips. "But now I really have to get up and freshen up."

He withdrew quickly and used Fuma's messy state to his advantage to roll the younger male into a blanket burrito. He chuckled at the muffled attempts of Fuma cursing at him as he made his way to the bathroom.

Inside the bathroom, he looked at himself in the mirror. While he knew he hadn’t looked his best the past weeks due to stress and everything, he could now say he looked better. He wouldn’t go as far to say he had this special afterglow that people said they got after a life-changing experience, but he got rid of a lot of emotional weight last night. While it had not really endangered their relationship, it had still felt good to let it out. He wondered why they were so bad at talking things through when they kept communicating without words. Mind and heart clearer and love even stronger than before. He traced the faint marks on his skin that Fuma had left on him last night (safely hidden beneath clothes whenever he put them on) and remembered Fuma’s words he’d whispered to him while marking him. It hadn’t made sense to him then, but it did now.

_“You know, your box wasn’t empty. It was my everything. You said everything you did was nothing compared to what I did. Because when nothing turns into something, it can be someone’s everything. Your nothing is my everything.”_

He didn’t doubt himself anymore, not as much at least.

 

When he returned to the bedroom, Fuma was still in bed, a bit more awake and sitting up but bed hair all over (and still naked).

"Okay, now that you're all fresh and whatever, come back to bed. It's not even morning yet, why are you still up?" Fuma whined and fell back on the bed with a thump. "Kento~"

The sight of Fuma on the bed made Kento smile brightly and he thought he could maybe delay his daily schedule a bit. It was Fuma after all. Everybody already knew Fuma was his best and worst influence. He caught the pillow the impatient boyfriend had thrown at him, smirking as he dove in for a counter attack. 

Maybe a few more minutes wouldn't hurt.


End file.
